Old Trends Die Hard

Remember when you couldn't decide which Hansen brother you wanted to marry? It was a time when the Backstreet Boys were back (back from what, I still don't know.) My childhood is marked with boy bands, Kool-Aid and glitter. Here's a list of things I will never forgive myself for.


1. Roll on glitter. Because a sticky film of glitter is "cute"




2. Scrunchies. Clarissa explains it all, and she knew how to rock every color.




3. Butterfly clips. Try and fit as many as possible on your 6th grade-sized head.








4. Brown lipstick and lip liner. Thanks Jenny from the block.





5. Soda can tabs. What do I even say?






6. Snap bracelets. Dying to get 300 tickets at Chuck-E-Cheese to score one of these bad boys.



7. Tattoo style chokers. Someone please bring these back.



8. Spice Girl inspired footwear. My poor mother, having to watch me walk out of the house in these.










9. Best friend necklaces. Not like I'm bragging... but I had a lot of these.




10. Overalls with one strap down. After school Fresh Prince episodes are the culprit.



11. Neon wind breakers. So noisy, yet so "fashionable."







12. Cargo pants. I must have had 20 pairs. You can't go wrong with pants that can hold all your Pokemon.


13. Tomagotchi. Mine died after 20 minutes. Forever scarred about having responsibilities.





14. Last but not least...Gel Pens. You weren't cool until you took your social studies test with a sparkly jelly-roll. 

The Power Of A Chanel Coat

Is it bad that a Chanel coat and a pair of Louboutin's can excite me more than any man ever could? 

Inspiration is a strange thing. It's that mysterious thing that jump starts something in your brain, makes your heart skip a beat and stomach fill with butterflies. Not to mention, your inspiration can make every care and worry in the world disappear.

As I endure the horrid flight from John Wayne International Airport all the way to a frigid Chicago O'Hare, recalling the inspirations from the past week pass over me like the cool Pacific breeze. My seven day venture throughout Southern California was nothing short of perfection. From the flawless beaches of Newport and Huntington. To the photogenic streets of the Los Angeles Fashion District. The list of personal inspirations are endless. To me, fashion speaks it's own language. There is no denying that an Annie Leibovitz editorial that graces the pages of Vogue can change fashion culture as we know it. The statement a Birkin bag make tell an entire story without uttering a single word. Who is that mysterious woman strolling the streets of New York City? Who is that girl in Hermes scarf strutting the sidewalks of LA?

Growing up in suburban Milwaukee could have been considered torture to a decade younger version of myself. Considering I was in a Catholic grade school that required a uniform of a white, emblem-less polo and an emerald and navy pleated skirt, my inner Spice Girl was dying to escape to public school. Stealing my mother's fashion magazines before I knew the alphabet seemed to come nothing but natural to me. For as long as I can remember, French couture designers came more natural than algebra or biology ever did. My passion for individuality through fashion was somewhat released when I enrolled in a public high school. I was constantly seeing myself in the runway looks that I only had access to through my monthly Vogue subscription. Since my long legs were busy at work on the volleyball court and also occupied leaping hurdles on the track, I had a difficulty finding the time for a job. No job = no money. No money = no designer shoes. This somehow became a reoccurring nightmare for my sixteen year old self. I learned to make due with the common Target brands and found the power in a sewing machine and bedazzling gun. I learned to never underestimate what money can buy. I could make $50 worth of Target clothes look identical to what Calvin Klein spent $2000 to send down the runway.

Unfortunately, it took over five years for anyone to recognize my fashion magazine addiction as an actual talent. Growing up, I was labeled as a burden for always asking for a new top or complaining that I needed a new winter coat because last year's colors are "so not in" anymore. But once I got my hands on a camera and my feet in some Steve Madden's, there was no turning back. It's time for a lifestyle change.

The typical American is obsessively opposed to any kind of change. This is where my transformation begins. Acceptance. I was never accepted as the person I wanted so desperately to be. And I cringe thinking of any other little girl not pursuing her dream because there is fear of being rejected. Whether it's accepting new people, new habits, and maybe even accepting the fact that combat boots might actually be a fashion statement. I can't stand speaking for anyone other than myself, but if everyone tried being more accepting of this crazy thing called life, I know the planet would be a better place. One person at a time, let's change the world.

Here's what I enjoyed in the past week. I'm hoping to get a website with my photography up soon. Stay posted loves.

No Sleep & RedBull

I'm back y'all! I took some time off to see what life is really about and, oh boy, there will be some exciting posts in the near future.

I've been through so many shitty situations for a girl my age in the past year. My body is completely rejecting itself. Aren't we supposed to be at our prime right now? Aren't we supposed to be able to live on four hours of sleep and a few RedBulls? For me it took a tragic loss, a car, a bottle of pills, and nine days in the hospital before I realized there was more to life than term papers, crappy relationships and RedBull. Life is begging you to go balls to the wall right now. I look around and see so many people taking advantage of something that God only lets us experience once. Here's a list of people I know and why they kick-start my anxiety into high gear.

The Slacker
   A very common breed. This is the person that assumes tomorrow will be here no matter what so they never stop to realize how gorgeous the sunrise and sunset are. These are the people that stay up until 4 a.m watching Wheel of Fortune. They eat fast food because it's quick and cheap. They have many friends but they only see each other when there's a beer in their hand. They sleep until early afternoon and have no clue what Carpe Diem means. And somehow this person still gets laid.

The Bitch
   Probably 70% of my dumb Facebook friends. This is the person who is so beneath me, yet somehow I still let them irritate me. This is the backstabbing friend that has not said one word to you since you left town. This is the person who goes out of their way to ruin your day. The bastard that can always make your heart jump no matter how bad they broke your heart. No matter if it was 3 months or 3 years ago. This is the person who doesn't even know you but makes judgment calls on a daily basis. My best friend gave me the best words of wisdom. "You're going places in life, they're not. Nothing else matters." I have one word for you people. Karma. And it's definitely a bigger bitch than you are.

The Friend
   The most rare and unusual person to find. By far. But it's in these tough times when you find out who your true friends are. And personally, I'm so glad I found this out sooner than later. Quality not quantity races through my mind. I'm not sure if "a handful" is a scientific term, but if it was, that's how I would best describe my real friend "quantity" situation. I lost so many friends when I got sick. I'm sure they were just freaked out and scared. And I don't blame them because I was too! And I wish it was that easy for me to escape the situation as well. But I found that my true friends are the ones who ask the tough questions. The ones who stay on the phone with me until I fall asleep because I'm scared I won't wake up. The ones who give me the world's biggest hug when I can't stop crying. Genuine people are difficult to find. But I have my "handful" around me. And I have never felt so blessed.

The Mom
   And by "the mom" I mean MY MOM. The greatest woman to grace the Earth. No matter what I do or who I decide to be today, I know she will always be supporting me 110% percent. I could not be more thankful to have her in my life. Yes, she gets a little crazy sometimes. Enough for me to make a Hitler reference every once in a while. But she is the only person in my life who I know genuinely loves me unconditionally.

The Inspirations
   I'm in the process of reinventing myself. And it's not as difficult as I initially imagined. Probably because now I am finally allowed to be the girl I've always dreamed of becoming. Here's a few people that have made me the person I love being.
Annie Leibovitz, Coco Chanel, Carrie Bradshaw, Ernest Hemingway, Andy Warhol, Boo Radley, Kurt Cobain (don't ask), Mr. Darcy, Karl Lagerfeld, Marilyn Monroe, Marc Jacobs, Jay Gatsby, Simba, Will Smith (yup), my Grandmother, Huckleberry Finn, Dolly Parton, Edie Sedgwick, and Peter Pan.

Yes, I've been through some pretty tough things. But I am honestly thanking God for putting me through this every day. Because I am finding out exactly who I am and I am exactly where I want to be.

Let's Take Your Fast Car, And Keep On Driving

I haven't posted in ages! Sincere apologies.

So much mind has been blown in the past week that I don't know if I could fit it all in one post.
I will take it one step at a time for those of you who have a case of the Tuesders.

Loneliness might be a choice, but everyone needs someone they can turn to. Considering my own overwhelming need to be independent, it's no surprise that at this point in my life I do nothing except push people away. Everyone who knows me would consider me stubborn and knows I act mostly from my gut. Over-thinking isn't necessarily in my nature. And when someone gets too close, I push them away. When I don't want to be taken care of, no matter the circumstance, you're better off just leaving me be. I hate the idea of someone having to take care of me. I think that's part of the reason why I'm so opposed to marriage. And why I hate living with my parents. And why, if I'm ever kept alive by tubes, I want them pulled. Or why I never ever want to live in a nursing home. My desire to be independent and alone will most likely kill me some day. But for now I'm just going to take one day at a time.

Last Friday, the reputable NOH8 Campaign and Adam Bouska came to Milwaukee and held a photo shoot as a silent protest for gay rights. Of course I had my picture taken and donated to the cause AND met Adam himself! He complimented my festive red nails a few times and gave me a hug when my shoot was over. I fell in love. I have gained so much more respect for the campaign and can't wait to get my hands dirty in the cause even more!

I saw this Oscar winner over the weekend and oh my lanta.... why did I not see this before? Annette and Julianne were phenomenal. This movie embraces everything I love. Lesbians. Lesbians doing it with a dude. Unconventional families. Wine drinkers. Awkward situations. Mark Ruffalo on a motorcycle. There wasn't a part that I didn't like!

FYI... don't watch this with people who get squeamish with gay-ness. My mom walked out in the first 5 minutes (gay man porn, vibrators, you get the idea)

Does this need an explanation? This is my life right now.

Best way to cure a broken heart? Buy shoes. I cannot even put into words how much moolah I have spent since the parting of ways. Wardrobe = redone. Shoe rack = more colorful. Closet = reorganized. Getting it together is not an option right now.

THREE DAYS TIL MY BIRTHDAY! I hope you all got me something nice :)

How can I get this framed?

Home Is Whenever I'm With You

It's incredible how everyone sees beauty differently.

You know where you see beauty in the world. But do you ever wonder if anyone sees the beauty in you? Do you ever feel so alone that your own confidence and self-worth are almost meaningless? Everyone on this lonely planet deserves to feel beautiful.

Likewise, it is just as important to let everyone in your life know that you love them and need them. They are in your life for a reason. Weed out the bad ones and keep the people who make you feel important.

Never deny anyone of their right to feel beautiful and loved. If you're going to be inconsiderate, rude and fake. Don't waste your breathe.




"Be kind. For everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." Plato

Taken For Granted

Thursday Top Ten: I thought I would put together a list of things that bring me straight back to my childhood. In lieu of recent events, I have been reflecting back on everything that has made my life unique, special and all around incredible. Things these days seem to be taken for granted. It's sad to see people getting mistreated for being different or others not realizing how blessed they are. Although I have had so many set-backs and have been through some terrible situations, I know that He loves me and will light up my path when no one is there to walk with me.

Enough enough... to the list.

1. Sporting the latest fashions. My mother made sure I always looked my best for as long as I can remember.... these heart shaped sunnies were the hottest thing while sitting around grandma's pool.

2. Cotton candy. The only reason I wanted to go to so many ridiculous festivals with my family when I was younger was the promise of cotton candy.

3. Bows. I always had to have a bow involved in every ensemble. In my hair. On my blouse. On my ballet flats… Bows were a must. And to be honest… they still are!

4. Dandelions. You can judge me all you want, but picking dandelions in my yard and seeing all the puffies fly away is a very vivid memory from my childhood. 

5. Picking my neighbors flowers ... Ooops :)

6. Weekend Micky Mouse pancakes. My parents would always try to fancy up the American classic by making pancakes into shapes. Definitely memorable.

7. Pretty Pretty Princess. Do I really need to say more? I was one of those girly girls.

8. Dreaming of being Cher in Clueless and wondering how I could talk my mom into buying me those knee high socks…

9. Disney World. By the time I was 12 I had already been to Disney 10 times. It is the happiest place on Earth and I still get goosebumps, butterflies and tears in my eyes whenever I lay eyes on Cinderella's castle. If I could, I would live there and be the happiest girl this world has ever seen.

10. Fishing trips with my dad. Before my world knew stress and angst, the thing I loved more than anything in the world was going fishing just my father and me. The colors in the sunrise, the musty smell of the boat. It doesn't get any better. 

What's your favorite childhood memory?

Curiosity Killed The Cat

It's odd to imagine my life as anything else than the way it is now. Although I do love to daydream about moving far far away from all my friends and family and starting a new life somewhere, I'm not entirely sure I could ever do it.

A few opportunities have come up in my life and even talking about my future makes me nervous and scared. The majority of people at home I could leave in an instant. But it's the heavy hitters that keep me around. What is it that makes stubbornness such a prominent attribute to our lives? Why do we second-guess our dreams? Why do we let certain people get the best of us and affect our decisions about what we want to do, personally, with our lives? It's completely corrupt and borderline insane, but everyone here can admit to doing it.

Shouldn't life decisions be one-hundred percent selfish? You should be able to do what you want to do, right? Here's my theory. Follow your heart. Simple enough. Listen to your doubts. Listen to that little voice in your head telling you maybe there's something better for you out there. No one should wake up, thirty five years old and regret what they did with their life. Live while your young. And if you're not young. Cross off that bucket list! I am a college student with 167 bullet points on my list... and counting! The sense of accomplishment

Of course change in any circumstance is frightening to anyone. But moving forward with an open mind and open heart will open up so many new doors. Who knows, you might be missing out on the opportunity of a lifetime. Or on the other hand, maybe your destine to stay right where you are with the people who love you the most.

If You Leave, Don't Look Back

An absolutely beautiful Tues-ders. Let's make the most of it!

Okay that's a complete joke. I live in this office from sun-up, to sun-down. I'm loving the view from the front window though!

Let's get down to business. So having the semi- relaxing weekend that I did, gave me a few extra hours to drool over the new issues of Vogue, InStyle and Harper's Bazaar. Get ready for a crazy list of my new obsessions for the week.

Marc by Marc Jacobs shoes and a Louis Vuitton handbag? Is this real life or my dream from last night? There is honestly nothing that screams summer more than golds, browns and nudes.














Orchids! Without a doubt my favorite flower. They are simple, beautiful, elegant and exotic. Everything I love in the world. Want to know the way to a woman's heart. Orchids. Don't even think twice about any other horticultural entity.

Stray cats. Seriously, don't judge me. I want to rescue a poor little guy terribly.

Elephants. So majestic and beautiful. Maybe someday I'll get the chance to go to Asia and see one for myself. But for now, I'll just have to stick with the World Wide Web for my elephant-fix.










As if the world didn't know, Amy Winehouse past away over the weekend. I completely agree that this is a huge loss. Amy was incredibly talented and was inspiring to even the lowest of the low. But this is my problem with the whole situation. She overdosed. How can anyone be sympathetic towards someone who wanted to end their own life? Or even, was the perceived brilliance actually just the immense amount of drugs in her system talking? Her father even released a statement saying that her family wrote her eulogy 5 years ago in anticipation of her death. How terrible is it that your family is just sitting around waiting for you to die. It is honestly so sad but I can't help but to hate her a little bit.

The end of an era! Of course I saw Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 at midnight two weeks ago. And yes. I did cry. Harry Potter is without a doubt, a huge part of my childhood. I was one of those kids who read the first book before talks of making a movie even started. I grew up with these characters. I was the same age as Harry, Ron and Hermione when the first book came out. I could completely relate to them on some kind of level. It is really sad that there won't be any more movies or books. But all the more reason to relive my magical childhood and read the books over and over and to watch the movies again and again.

Juan Carlos Obando. He is an absolute fashion genius. How I didn't find him earlier... I am not sure. I could spend hours upon hours with my nose in his catalog. Fantastic.










I just can't get enough sushi lately.

Nothing like a good cupcake :) I could definitely use one right now. My day has gone from great to shit in about an hour.

Perfection in Print

TGIF everyone! Hopefully the week went by fast and a restful, re-energizing weekend awaits you.

Without further adieu, I will give you my weekly obsessions. This week I was incredibly inspired by a Western U.S. slash spring fever slash (dare I say it) "Hipster," type of look.

Nudes, neutrals and whites. Only a month and a half until Labor Day, so every person in the country should be wearing out their neutrals this summer! Whether it be shoes, a LWD, understated lace skirt, beaded tank.... WEAR IT. It is simple to make a bland outfit unique with jewelry (a personal favorite) or a bold pair of shoes. All I have to say is that I love this trend and stock up on these colors because they will never go out of style.

Ironic art. It's hilarious and I cannot get enough. I cannot wait for the day I get a place of my own to decorate weirdly. I will have to stick to my 900 square foot 3 bedroom apartment for now ...

Speaking of my apartment, I have the decorating bug. For the past month or so I have spent more time in the furniture department of Macy's and Pier 1 Imports than I have in any clothing store. It's terrible and yet an eccentric and new way of expressing myself. I live and breathe for fantasy, dreams and over the top. My dream house awaits me, someday.

Tea. Completely obsessed. Yes, I have been an avid tea-drinker since the early 2000's, but lately my taste buds have been craving more and more! I have found that Tazo is a tea-prodigy and everything in that perfectly beautiful little color-coded box is a God-send. Besides, so healthy :)

Native American culture. It is beautiful, majestic and natural. Not to mention absolutely fashionable on every level. The feathers, bold color palates and aura of confidence is so alluring. I can't get enough!