No Sleep & RedBull

I'm back y'all! I took some time off to see what life is really about and, oh boy, there will be some exciting posts in the near future.

I've been through so many shitty situations for a girl my age in the past year. My body is completely rejecting itself. Aren't we supposed to be at our prime right now? Aren't we supposed to be able to live on four hours of sleep and a few RedBulls? For me it took a tragic loss, a car, a bottle of pills, and nine days in the hospital before I realized there was more to life than term papers, crappy relationships and RedBull. Life is begging you to go balls to the wall right now. I look around and see so many people taking advantage of something that God only lets us experience once. Here's a list of people I know and why they kick-start my anxiety into high gear.

The Slacker
   A very common breed. This is the person that assumes tomorrow will be here no matter what so they never stop to realize how gorgeous the sunrise and sunset are. These are the people that stay up until 4 a.m watching Wheel of Fortune. They eat fast food because it's quick and cheap. They have many friends but they only see each other when there's a beer in their hand. They sleep until early afternoon and have no clue what Carpe Diem means. And somehow this person still gets laid.

The Bitch
   Probably 70% of my dumb Facebook friends. This is the person who is so beneath me, yet somehow I still let them irritate me. This is the backstabbing friend that has not said one word to you since you left town. This is the person who goes out of their way to ruin your day. The bastard that can always make your heart jump no matter how bad they broke your heart. No matter if it was 3 months or 3 years ago. This is the person who doesn't even know you but makes judgment calls on a daily basis. My best friend gave me the best words of wisdom. "You're going places in life, they're not. Nothing else matters." I have one word for you people. Karma. And it's definitely a bigger bitch than you are.

The Friend
   The most rare and unusual person to find. By far. But it's in these tough times when you find out who your true friends are. And personally, I'm so glad I found this out sooner than later. Quality not quantity races through my mind. I'm not sure if "a handful" is a scientific term, but if it was, that's how I would best describe my real friend "quantity" situation. I lost so many friends when I got sick. I'm sure they were just freaked out and scared. And I don't blame them because I was too! And I wish it was that easy for me to escape the situation as well. But I found that my true friends are the ones who ask the tough questions. The ones who stay on the phone with me until I fall asleep because I'm scared I won't wake up. The ones who give me the world's biggest hug when I can't stop crying. Genuine people are difficult to find. But I have my "handful" around me. And I have never felt so blessed.

The Mom
   And by "the mom" I mean MY MOM. The greatest woman to grace the Earth. No matter what I do or who I decide to be today, I know she will always be supporting me 110% percent. I could not be more thankful to have her in my life. Yes, she gets a little crazy sometimes. Enough for me to make a Hitler reference every once in a while. But she is the only person in my life who I know genuinely loves me unconditionally.

The Inspirations
   I'm in the process of reinventing myself. And it's not as difficult as I initially imagined. Probably because now I am finally allowed to be the girl I've always dreamed of becoming. Here's a few people that have made me the person I love being.
Annie Leibovitz, Coco Chanel, Carrie Bradshaw, Ernest Hemingway, Andy Warhol, Boo Radley, Kurt Cobain (don't ask), Mr. Darcy, Karl Lagerfeld, Marilyn Monroe, Marc Jacobs, Jay Gatsby, Simba, Will Smith (yup), my Grandmother, Huckleberry Finn, Dolly Parton, Edie Sedgwick, and Peter Pan.

Yes, I've been through some pretty tough things. But I am honestly thanking God for putting me through this every day. Because I am finding out exactly who I am and I am exactly where I want to be.