Is it bad that a Chanel coat and a pair of Louboutin's can excite me more than any man ever could?
Inspiration is a strange thing. It's that mysterious thing that jump starts something in your brain, makes your heart skip a beat and stomach fill with butterflies. Not to mention, your inspiration can make every care and worry in the world disappear.
As I endure the horrid flight from John Wayne International Airport all the way to a frigid Chicago O'Hare, recalling the inspirations from the past week pass over me like the cool Pacific breeze. My seven day venture throughout Southern California was nothing short of perfection. From the flawless beaches of Newport and Huntington. To the photogenic streets of the Los Angeles Fashion District. The list of personal inspirations are endless. To me, fashion speaks it's own language. There is no denying that an Annie Leibovitz editorial that graces the pages of Vogue can change fashion culture as we know it. The statement a Birkin bag make tell an entire story without uttering a single word. Who is that mysterious woman strolling the streets of New York City? Who is that girl in Hermes scarf strutting the sidewalks of LA?
Growing up in suburban Milwaukee could have been considered torture to a decade younger version of myself. Considering I was in a Catholic grade school that required a uniform of a white, emblem-less polo and an emerald and navy pleated skirt, my inner Spice Girl was dying to escape to public school. Stealing my mother's fashion magazines before I knew the alphabet seemed to come nothing but natural to me. For as long as I can remember, French couture designers came more natural than algebra or biology ever did. My passion for individuality through fashion was somewhat released when I enrolled in a public high school. I was constantly seeing myself in the runway looks that I only had access to through my monthly Vogue subscription. Since my long legs were busy at work on the volleyball court and also occupied leaping hurdles on the track, I had a difficulty finding the time for a job. No job = no money. No money = no designer shoes. This somehow became a reoccurring nightmare for my sixteen year old self. I learned to make due with the common Target brands and found the power in a sewing machine and bedazzling gun. I learned to never underestimate what money can buy. I could make $50 worth of Target clothes look identical to what Calvin Klein spent $2000 to send down the runway.
Unfortunately, it took over five years for anyone to recognize my fashion magazine addiction as an actual talent. Growing up, I was labeled as a burden for always asking for a new top or complaining that I needed a new winter coat because last year's colors are "so not in" anymore. But once I got my hands on a camera and my feet in some Steve Madden's, there was no turning back. It's time for a lifestyle change.
The typical American is obsessively opposed to any kind of change. This is where my transformation begins. Acceptance. I was never accepted as the person I wanted so desperately to be. And I cringe thinking of any other little girl not pursuing her dream because there is fear of being rejected. Whether it's accepting new people, new habits, and maybe even accepting the fact that combat boots might actually be a fashion statement. I can't stand speaking for anyone other than myself, but if everyone tried being more accepting of this crazy thing called life, I know the planet would be a better place. One person at a time, let's change the world.
Here's what I enjoyed in the past week. I'm hoping to get a website with my photography up soon. Stay posted loves.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Monday, October 10, 2011
No Sleep & RedBull
I'm back y'all! I took some time off to see what life is really about and, oh boy, there will be some exciting posts in the near future.
I've been through so many shitty situations for a girl my age in the past year. My body is completely rejecting itself. Aren't we supposed to be at our prime right now? Aren't we supposed to be able to live on four hours of sleep and a few RedBulls? For me it took a tragic loss, a car, a bottle of pills, and nine days in the hospital before I realized there was more to life than term papers, crappy relationships and RedBull. Life is begging you to go balls to the wall right now. I look around and see so many people taking advantage of something that God only lets us experience once. Here's a list of people I know and why they kick-start my anxiety into high gear.
The Slacker
A very common breed. This is the person that assumes tomorrow will be here no matter what so they never stop to realize how gorgeous the sunrise and sunset are. These are the people that stay up until 4 a.m watching Wheel of Fortune. They eat fast food because it's quick and cheap. They have many friends but they only see each other when there's a beer in their hand. They sleep until early afternoon and have no clue what Carpe Diem means. And somehow this person still gets laid.
The Bitch
Probably 70% of my dumb Facebook friends. This is the person who is so beneath me, yet somehow I still let them irritate me. This is the backstabbing friend that has not said one word to you since you left town. This is the person who goes out of their way to ruin your day. The bastard that can always make your heart jump no matter how bad they broke your heart. No matter if it was 3 months or 3 years ago. This is the person who doesn't even know you but makes judgment calls on a daily basis. My best friend gave me the best words of wisdom. "You're going places in life, they're not. Nothing else matters." I have one word for you people. Karma. And it's definitely a bigger bitch than you are.
The Friend
The most rare and unusual person to find. By far. But it's in these tough times when you find out who your true friends are. And personally, I'm so glad I found this out sooner than later. Quality not quantity races through my mind. I'm not sure if "a handful" is a scientific term, but if it was, that's how I would best describe my real friend "quantity" situation. I lost so many friends when I got sick. I'm sure they were just freaked out and scared. And I don't blame them because I was too! And I wish it was that easy for me to escape the situation as well. But I found that my true friends are the ones who ask the tough questions. The ones who stay on the phone with me until I fall asleep because I'm scared I won't wake up. The ones who give me the world's biggest hug when I can't stop crying. Genuine people are difficult to find. But I have my "handful" around me. And I have never felt so blessed.
The Mom
And by "the mom" I mean MY MOM. The greatest woman to grace the Earth. No matter what I do or who I decide to be today, I know she will always be supporting me 110% percent. I could not be more thankful to have her in my life. Yes, she gets a little crazy sometimes. Enough for me to make a Hitler reference every once in a while. But she is the only person in my life who I know genuinely loves me unconditionally.
The Inspirations
I'm in the process of reinventing myself. And it's not as difficult as I initially imagined. Probably because now I am finally allowed to be the girl I've always dreamed of becoming. Here's a few people that have made me the person I love being.
Annie Leibovitz, Coco Chanel, Carrie Bradshaw, Ernest Hemingway, Andy Warhol, Boo Radley, Kurt Cobain (don't ask), Mr. Darcy, Karl Lagerfeld, Marilyn Monroe, Marc Jacobs, Jay Gatsby, Simba, Will Smith (yup), my Grandmother, Huckleberry Finn, Dolly Parton, Edie Sedgwick, and Peter Pan.
Yes, I've been through some pretty tough things. But I am honestly thanking God for putting me through this every day. Because I am finding out exactly who I am and I am exactly where I want to be.
I've been through so many shitty situations for a girl my age in the past year. My body is completely rejecting itself. Aren't we supposed to be at our prime right now? Aren't we supposed to be able to live on four hours of sleep and a few RedBulls? For me it took a tragic loss, a car, a bottle of pills, and nine days in the hospital before I realized there was more to life than term papers, crappy relationships and RedBull. Life is begging you to go balls to the wall right now. I look around and see so many people taking advantage of something that God only lets us experience once. Here's a list of people I know and why they kick-start my anxiety into high gear.
The Slacker
A very common breed. This is the person that assumes tomorrow will be here no matter what so they never stop to realize how gorgeous the sunrise and sunset are. These are the people that stay up until 4 a.m watching Wheel of Fortune. They eat fast food because it's quick and cheap. They have many friends but they only see each other when there's a beer in their hand. They sleep until early afternoon and have no clue what Carpe Diem means. And somehow this person still gets laid.
The Bitch
Probably 70% of my dumb Facebook friends. This is the person who is so beneath me, yet somehow I still let them irritate me. This is the backstabbing friend that has not said one word to you since you left town. This is the person who goes out of their way to ruin your day. The bastard that can always make your heart jump no matter how bad they broke your heart. No matter if it was 3 months or 3 years ago. This is the person who doesn't even know you but makes judgment calls on a daily basis. My best friend gave me the best words of wisdom. "You're going places in life, they're not. Nothing else matters." I have one word for you people. Karma. And it's definitely a bigger bitch than you are.
The Friend
The most rare and unusual person to find. By far. But it's in these tough times when you find out who your true friends are. And personally, I'm so glad I found this out sooner than later. Quality not quantity races through my mind. I'm not sure if "a handful" is a scientific term, but if it was, that's how I would best describe my real friend "quantity" situation. I lost so many friends when I got sick. I'm sure they were just freaked out and scared. And I don't blame them because I was too! And I wish it was that easy for me to escape the situation as well. But I found that my true friends are the ones who ask the tough questions. The ones who stay on the phone with me until I fall asleep because I'm scared I won't wake up. The ones who give me the world's biggest hug when I can't stop crying. Genuine people are difficult to find. But I have my "handful" around me. And I have never felt so blessed.
The Mom
And by "the mom" I mean MY MOM. The greatest woman to grace the Earth. No matter what I do or who I decide to be today, I know she will always be supporting me 110% percent. I could not be more thankful to have her in my life. Yes, she gets a little crazy sometimes. Enough for me to make a Hitler reference every once in a while. But she is the only person in my life who I know genuinely loves me unconditionally.
The Inspirations
I'm in the process of reinventing myself. And it's not as difficult as I initially imagined. Probably because now I am finally allowed to be the girl I've always dreamed of becoming. Here's a few people that have made me the person I love being.
Annie Leibovitz, Coco Chanel, Carrie Bradshaw, Ernest Hemingway, Andy Warhol, Boo Radley, Kurt Cobain (don't ask), Mr. Darcy, Karl Lagerfeld, Marilyn Monroe, Marc Jacobs, Jay Gatsby, Simba, Will Smith (yup), my Grandmother, Huckleberry Finn, Dolly Parton, Edie Sedgwick, and Peter Pan.
Yes, I've been through some pretty tough things. But I am honestly thanking God for putting me through this every day. Because I am finding out exactly who I am and I am exactly where I want to be.
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